Staff Reporter ranks Star Wars films

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Johnny Mocny, Entertainment Editor

Once a year, we as a universe experience a holiday that shamefully only lasts for a day. That day in question is May the Fourth, official Star Wars day. To commemorate the day that we devoted fans use as a catalyst to express our nerdiness, I give you all seven Star Wars films ranked from best to worst.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

In what is easily one of the greatest sequels of all time, if not the greatest, Empire brought the epic space saga to darker and more dramatic levels while still retaining the fun adventure of it all. This film is the reason Yoda is now part of the pop culture DNA, and for good reason. Top it off with one of the best movie twists of all time, and you have yourself a cinematic achievement that transcends the boundaries of any ordinary film.

Episode IV: A New Hope

Originally titled Star Wars, the old classic still holds up a great standalone film about wonder, bravery and the idea that anyone, even moisture farmers who pick up power converters from Toshi’s Station, can be a hero.

Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Returning to the roots that made these films so undeniably loveable, J.J. Abram’s film is nearly perfect to me, someone who walked in looking for the flaws. While it carries a hefty parallel to A New Hope, this movie had enough new content and nostalgia to offer that puts it in the better half of the saga.

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

In this conclusion to the original trilogy, fans were treated with a more mature Luke, an emotionally satisfying final confrontation with Darth Vader and a whole lot of Ewoks. Try picking out the downside there. All in all, Return is a good Star Wars movie that could have been great, but still remains better than any of the other ones I am about to list below.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

As the final film of the prequel trilogy, Revenge provides a lot of fun action and sweet moments, but pretty much nothing else. Characters are still pretty wooden, and Anakin’s turn to the dark side was one of the most bafflingly sudden things ever. On top of an overabundance of green screen, this one is a mess. Still, we are treated to some of the best fights in the series and a perfectly hammy performance from Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

“Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman and Samuel L. Jackson in a Star Wars movie? Please, give me that now!”

…is what everyone said before seeing this movie.

What they got was an abundance of racially insensitive characters on top some godawful senate meeting scenes and Jar Jar Binks, who maintains a surprising amount of screentime. To counter the pain, you still get the pod race sequence and the Darth Maul fight at the end. In all honesty, you can look those up on YouTube though.

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

While the title alone is misleading, few could expect all of the sand-hating trash that makes up the majority of the bafflingly terrible script. What I find funny is that George Lucas actually thought this is how people talk. Anikin sounds like a convicted sexual deviant, while Padme falls for the worst Jedi ever. Combined with oversaturated CGI and one of the worst origin stories one could imagine in the form of Boba Fett, all of the ingredients perfectly mixed to make the worst Star Wars movie, if you don’t count the holiday special.